Hello, you have just stumbled on my tumblr.

Welcome :D

I was given the name Kelley. I decided to create this blog to express myself, and my multiple interests.

What I blog may consist of: Cats. Legend of Zelda. Mario. Nintendo. Games. Music. Bands. Food. Systems. Marijuana. Love. Pokemon. Photography. Art. And a ton of other interesting stuff.

You may also find some of my personal feelings, or discussions on my blog

I am super friendly, and I enjoy talking and meeting new/making new friends. So don't be shy and send me a message :3

I hope you enjoy my blog, and don't be afraid to follow ;3

I follow back!<3

I realize I probably wont be getting on here, really. In all sincerity, thanks for everyone’s kindness, and concerns„ and to all those who have tried to help me when I really needed it. I, just getting on here kind of makes me more sad. Even the funny posts that make me chuckle, there is this over whelming link of sadness to the website, and I could probably name a few reasons why, but I’ll keep them all to myself.

You guys are wonderful people, never confuse yourself on that.

I’ll probably see everyone next month. Maybe.

Au revoir, for now.


"Lift me, human!"
Just an update, haven&#8217;t been on in a while. Red hairrrr.



Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm  environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing her to go deeper into her depression. Help your loved one keep her body healthy, and her mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
 The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here.  For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of herself. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)

kinkylittlenerd snoochiebooch

Just a self reminder. Personal.




they have the ability to change their skin coloration and texture on command


i have so many questions

Another short update:

My “best friend” bailed on me tonight again. I’m a little upset cause its been months since I’ve seen her and every time we make any plans, she is “coming down with something”

I’m not that upset about it now, I think I might just grab a drink for myself and relax, today was a long day anyway, and after eating at this mexican restaurant earlier with my friend on our lunch break, my stomach isn’t cooperating with me.

Its cold in my room. I’m feeling calm, and happy. Thanks for all those who didnt unfollow me due to my inactive-ness,  And I can’t thank you enough for all the kindness I receive on here even with rarely getting on any more.

I guess I should probably settle in for bed, I don’t have to be at work till later tomorrow since i’m stuck on this dreaded closing shifts. Bon nuit mes amis.


I realize I won’t ever have the time to get on here anymore. It may be because of my depression, anxiety, and laziness. Or it may just be something telling me I have so much responsibility that I can’t do some things anymore. Either way, it won’t surprise me if eventually I’ll get on here once every three months.

Things have been weird lately, I’m trying my very best not to acknowledge certain thoughts, cause I’m sure I’m over thinking a lot of situations. I got to tell myself things have changed, I’ve grown. I’ve got to escape this set thought. I know if I talk about it, I’ll jinx it. But I wish I could let it out.

I’m torn with deciding to see a therapist again, get re evaluated and put on medication for my mental health, and just ignoring everything to where it’ll potentially build up and lead to suicide.

Sometimes I wish I had a friend that I was so close with, that I talked to everyday, that I could be like, heyyy, its 12:36 AM my thoughts are killing me, lets go for a walk, and we’d have a usual spot where we would chill, regardless of the weather, and time and we’d sit there for hours discussing how fucked up we are. I feel like if I had a friend like that, being the way I am would be easier to deal with, and perhaps they’d feel the same. I miss having someone I was close to like that, I miss having the ability to maintain a friendship on that level.

Except I find myself, more and more, realizing that I’m pretty damn lonely.

Which in retrospect, don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful boyfriend. But I don’t get to see him all the time, and with how I’ve been having nothing but closing shifts and not getting home til eleven can affect a  lot of things.

I’m just so sad, and lonely. And for once I want to just stay happy, and feel right. People say you wouldn’t be who you are today if it wasn’t for what you’ve endured. But theres a lot of things I wish I didn’t endure. I mean, I like who I am, compared to who I’ve been. I’ma  lot more mature, I handle things better than I think I ever have. But at the same time, I know deep inside I’m terrible fucked up.

I wish I didn’t get involved in so many bad relationships. Friendships as well as lovers.

I guess I’ll be done bothering anyone who even bothers to read what I write. Time to maybe attempt to fill out an application for a higher position in  my line of work. Wish me luck.


Anonymous said: I hope things have been a little bit better for you.

Its just me. I can’t escape these thoughts. No matter how good things are going for me, I will always want to die.


Wishing I had,friends to get drunk with and,eat chocolates.


Anonymous said: For someone so lovely you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Just know that you aren't alone in this. Stay safe and keep moving forward. xoxo

I’m not that lovely, but thank you anon. You are too sweet.

This cat is probably one of the only things stopping me from killing myself today.

Just waking up from my alcohol nap. I’m feeling rather lonely. I don’t feel like I have any friends. But who am I anyway? I know I’m not someone people look for in a friend. In high school, I was strangely popular, in detail at least in my last two high schools I went to. I went to a total of three. But now I barely have any friends, besides my amazing boyfriend, no one really bothers with me on a day to day basis, no one tries to hang out with me, or invites me to do anything. I’m loosing a lot of motivation, I don’t bother with people anymore because of that. I’m sick of my job, I work my ass off and I feel so unappreciated. Everytime I walk in the store, whatever happiness I had, leaves, and I get the urge to kill myself. I just, I miss a lot of things. I get nostalgic when this happens.,idk, just my rant for the night. Thanks for listening tumblr, since I have barely anyone I can talk to.